Day 1107

Not having an easy time here. Im really upset, angry, stuck, mad, and I want to be left alone. .

Day 1095

Today was tough, I did well with the diet and exersize, but Im just in gridlock with everything else. My schedule is a mess, I can't get my students organized, Im not prepared to go on the road, Im tired, and I need my time to get ready for all the shows coming up. Im definitely feeling the stress right now.

Tomorrow marks the 3 year mark of losing weight. Im really proud of myself. I know I've kept it off this long and I can keep it off. Now I just need to lose another 50 pounds and Ill be home free.

I can do it. I was closer today.

Diet:

Oatmeal, almonds, pistacios, potstickers w/hummus, apple, 2 luna bars, more almonds and pistasios, jerky, a turkey sand (this was whipped together in a short amount of time and had some stuff I didn't want, like mayo and white bread, but still a good choice) then at 9:30 when I got home, I had pita w/turkey, cabbage, lettuce, and more hummus

Workout was a good run on the beach today.

My weight is up today at 224-225. Very discouraging, but I know its just the beginning. Got to keep moving on and looking at past blog entries.

Thanks for the support.

Day 1094

Getting close to the three year mark, trying to balance my weight down by the 220 mark for the anniversary.

Diet:

BreakfasT: oatmeal. Lunch: potstickers w/hummus. Snack: assorted jellies, 100 grand bar, diet 7up. later snack: apple; dinner: whole wheat pasta, chicken, w/hummus

I ate way too much pasta tonight,should have avoided the sugared bars

excersize: twice around the lake

I wish I had someone to be with right now. Im so freaking lonely.

Day 1093

Went to the grocery store. Tried to load up on as many fruits and veggies that I would actually eat and not have sitting around my house like ornaments.

Brunch: fixed cuban style black beans with brown rice and turkey meatballs. . . didn't finish half of it

teaching snack: tortilla chips, granny smith apple, rice cakes, luna bar.

dinner at 9:30pm: whole wheat pasta, 3 small chicken thighs, little mozzarella and hummus

Really all hit the spot, not that bad for me. . . except my dinner was too late, and i ate too large of a portion before going to bed. As I sit here and write this blog, its all going to the mid section. . .

Excersize was great, walked around echo park lake this morning and jogged from hermosa to manhattan at night. If only I did that for the past 1000 plus days. . . then id probably have it off of me. .

The good news, Im feeling alot better today than I did last week after feeding on fast food everyday while i stressed out about everything in my life. Right now Im trying to excert that stress into postitive gains like working out and eating right. We'll see how long this goes. . . Its going to go for a while now. . . ill just say that.

Weight: 224

Day 1092

Hello to my blog, how I have missed our regular hang.

I've not been around because I've been lazy, forgetful, tired, and in general, off track. Im ready to get back on. Its time for me to get moving again.

I leave on tour next week for a month with New West. We're now a trio, its better than ever. Still no love life yet. Still somewhere around 225 pounds. Was 214 last march. I know I can reach 190 by the end of the year with my trainer. There's a reason I've been large the past two years. I know I can really look great below 200 mark.

Going to go to the store in the morning and get the groceries for the week. Im committing myself to eating well, and base my diet around fruits and vegitables. Tomorrow, and maybe wednesday, are my final days of running on the beach until the end of tour. Going to try and kick my ass tomorrow.

Things are going to be great in the fall and Im going to prime myself in september by trying to lose some pounds on the road.

I thank god, my mom, and my friends, for continuing their support.

Things have never been so messed up in my dad's family as they are now. And you know what, Im going to let it all go. Im going to try to figure out how to let go of the anger so I don't let it out on someone and either kill them, or assult them. That would be bad.

Going to start dating again in the fall, whether or not Im as thin as I want to be.

And anyone who doesn't believe that this can happen, myself included, can just go screw themselves.

Cheers and looking forward to getting there. Im going to get myself a new outfit when I do. Something in style at the moment. Not even sure what it is right now.

Day 781

emergency, working on getting back into it.
Will post more info at a later date.
Current mark: 228.

Day 771

Free day.

excersize: walk/run around echo park lake

food:

1. eggs
2. cottage cheese
3. 2 hamburger patties
4. tomatoes
5. 2 cookies
6. ham and cheese croissant
7. in n out burger and fries - killer! . . . .was awesome
8. 2 twix bars!!
9. and water
10. some diet coke